Rumor is I'm lonely

I'm surrounded all day long, yet I feel so lonely. There's a constant tugging, holding me back every day because I feel like something is missing. It takes me a while to figure out why I feel lonely and then I realize...I miss my mom. I miss having someone to call and brag about my children to. I miss her encouraging notes. I miss her advice. I miss her listening ear. I miss her hugs. It is strange to think that I have had two babies since she has been gone. I miss her the most after I have a baby. There are so many "firsts" that seem to go unnoticed because she's not here to ask about them. Her kids and grandkids were always her top priority and I never felt like I was interrupting anything when I called to chat. I miss feeling that important.

So when I wander around the house aimlessly I realize its because something's missing. Then I usually find myself in front of the pantry trying to fill the void. But that's a post for a different day.

t.v. time

I have found I am much more patient with nighttime feedings and a cranky baby if I have something good to watch on t.v. I am grateful for cheesy Hallmark channel movies that make me feel good in the middle of the night. I'm also grateful for I Love Lucy, Saved by the Bell, and the Cosby Show. Even some of the infomercials are looking pretty interesting - I'm making my Christmas wish list. :)

6-week smiles

At 4am the other night I had some nice moments with Cody. He gave me some of his biggest smiles yet. I wished I had the camera. Eventually I waddled over to grab it, with Cody being balanced on the nursing pillow to try to not interrupt the moment. It was difficult to position the camera in the right spot, put my face close to his to get him to smile and then snap the picture. I missed most of the really good shots, but here are a couple of pleasant ones. I think it is funny when newborns give the really, really big smiles that are so awkward and end up surprising themselves. It sure is fun to have a more interactive baby. We'll be turning this hard newborn corner pretty soon!

Cody is finally gaining weight!

We've had a little bit of frustration with this baby.

When we left the hospital Cody had lost more than 10% of his birth weight which made the doctors nervous. He weighed 8 lbs 2 oz at birth.
Recommendation - Wake every two hours to feed and wait for my milk to come in.
One week old: Visit to pediatrician to check weight.
Weight: 7lbs 4 oz.
Recommendation - Wait for baby to wake up on his own and hope he feeds more productively before falling back asleep.
Two weeks old: Visit to pediatrician for two-week check up.
Weight: 7lbs 15 oz
Three weeks old: Visit with lactation specialists.
Weight: 7 lbs 15 oz
Recommendation - Pay attention to hunger cues (if he wiggles his legs, he's ready to eat. Seriously?!). Feed every hour and hope to increase my milk supply. Yikes! Every hour? What I am supposed to do with the rest of life? Luckily Gayla and Tori were in town that week and helped take care of everything for me.
Four weeks old:
Weight: 8 lbs 2 oz. Finally back to birth weight, but still not gaining the ounce a day he's supposed to gain.
Recommendation: Breastfeed and supplement with formula for every feeding.
Five weeks old:
Weight: 8 lbs 13 oz. Hooray! He's finally gaining weight!


All I can figure it that maybe Cody has a high metabolism like his dad. The lactation specialists said he was getting an average amount of milk from me, but it still wasn't enough to gain weight. So now I bottle and breastfeed him and we are settling in to a good routine.

Holy Cow! Paige is 7!

Paige had her "best day ever". This is what she tries to achieve every day when she wakes up, especially when she knows something special is happening that day. This time is was her birthday. I told her we needed to keep her special day pretty low-key since we had a 3 week old baby and I wasn't up to a big party.

We invited her cousins and family over to celebrate. We had face painting and a pinata too. We put our broken trampoline to use by stringing up the pinata between two poles and only allowing one child in the circle at a time - brilliant!

My sister Gayla was visiting from AZ and she taught me how to make cakepops. I had never heard of them before, but apparently they are very popular and now I see them everywhere. It was fun because everyone got to dip and decorate their own. Which meant I didn't have to try to make them professional looking (there are a lot of really cute and clever cakepop ideas out there).

Paige is thrilled to be 7. She is growing up to be an amazing little girl. Sometimes I get concerned that she doesn't act mature enough for her age, but I should probably just let her enjoy being young.

My favorite thing about Paige is how much she loves her family. She is so good to her little brothers and she loves me and daddy. Paige is wonderful. I can't wait to see what fantastic things are in store for her this year.

TRUCK!

Levi has made up his own little language. He starts a lot of words with "ee" or "fo", like "ee-pa" (Grandpa) or "ee-gone" (all gone). For the last year he has said "doo-doo" for any trucks he sees. "Tow-doo-doo", "dump-doo-doo", "big-doo-doo". I think it started because of the big rigs that looked like trains which he called "choo-choo". No matter how hard we tried he would not say "truck". It was very frustrating because I knew that he knew the right word. Finally, while reading one of his favorite books the other night, Levi surprised me by saying "kuck". At first I didn't realize what the word meant, but then I jumped for joy! I smiled and laughed and high-fived. Levi was, of course, very pleased with himself.

Christmas time?

Whenever the heater kicks in for the first time it makes me think of Christmas. And that's pretty much the only thing about the change of seasons that makes me smile.

Downhill fast

Back in May we acquired a used trampoline from our neighbors. They were getting rid of it because it didn't bounce very well and their kids were getting bigger. Its a springless trampoline with elastic bands. They were right that it didn't bounce very well, but the kids didn't care and they jumped and ran and played forever and really loved it. Over the summer that poor trampoline got saggier and saggier. Now it sags to the ground without anyone even on it. It sure didn't last long, but at least it was free.