Working on my Before

The other day I saw a Facebook status of a good friend that made me laugh.

"I'm working on my before."

I thought that was a pretty funny way to put it.
I thought about it a lot over the last week.
I thought about as I ate Brian's birthday cupcakes.
I thought about as I loaded up my plate with seconds (or thirds) of dinner.
I thought about it as I snacked on the extra cupcake frosting.
I thought about it as I sprinkled sugar over my cereal.
I thought about it as I kept the green end of the Tucanos stick up.

And then I thought...

What if I actually took my own "before" picture?

What?! Did I just say that?!
That idea scared me.
But maybe its the motivation I need.

So, I've decided to put myself out there, and be totally vulnerable.
I have at least 30-40 pounds to lose.

I'm hoping that if I know I have people cheering me on, I'll feel more accountable.
Will you push me?

Okay...
Here goes...

Um...
I'll spare you the sports bra and spandex, but these are some work-out clothes I am definitely too embarrassed to be seen wearing in public right now. 


Okay....
Maybe I'm ready now....

For me, it all comes down to food. I already work out about 6 hours a week and I love it. I know I am strong. I know that I am superwoman and totally fit and ripped underneath all the outer layers.

So I've struggled. Do I learn to accept and be happy with where I am at because I know I am strong? But then I think back to 4 years ago when I did do the work to lose 45 pounds and I remember how confident I was and how happy I was, and I think it will be worth it.

I'm tired of working on my "before". Its time to look forward to my "after".

Wish me luck.

Brian's Birthday!

The kids were so excited to celebrate Daddy's birthday.  It was pretty low-key since Brian had to go to young men's in the middle of the festivities.

 Paige made a pinata that she had read about in a book. She glued newspaper around a balloon, let it dry over night, then popped the balloon and filled the inside with candy. I thought it was so clever.

Brian was showered with presents - and tackles.

And I made his favorite cake - German Chocolate. Except this year I made it into cupcakes because I've learned that the kids don't like German Chocolate cake. They got plain ol' chocolate frosting instead.

Happy Birthday Brian! May all your birthday wishes come true!

Instrument Preschool

This week I taught the preschool kids about different instruments.
We made drums, and played around with a conglomeration of different instruments I had at home, and borrowed from neighbors - violin, piano, harpsicord, trumpet, ukelele, guitar, recorder, cymbals, drums, flute, percussion sticks, harmonicas, kazoo, tambourine, nose flute, maracas....(wow, that's a lot of stuff). It was a very noisy preschool session.
The best part was going to down the street to our neighbor's home recording studio. He is fabulously talented and put together a track of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and had the kids sing. They loved it! and I loved watching it all get put together. It was cool to see how he could just add different lines of music - different instruments and harmonies. So neat the things that people can do.

Camping

Three day weekends mean camping out at our house...

...indoors of course.

Happy  Martin Luther King day!

Simple life

I live the simple life.

For over a year I haven't had a car. I can have a car if I need to by taking Brian to work. But that requires waking up all the kids early, and that's not so simple. So, instead, we stay at home. No errands, no shopping, no grand adventures, library trips or museums. Just simplicity.

Each morning I get Paige ready for school. It only takes her 15 minutes to get out the door, so I usually push snooze on my 7:20 alarm until it says 7:45 and she catches a ride with some friends. Simple. The rest of the kids don't wake up until around 9. Simple. We work out at the church down the street. Simple - unless its 5 degrees and we have to find a ride. Then I try to get the dishes done and we eat lunch and play until Ashby goes to kindergarten at noon. Simple. We usually walk him the couple blocks to school. Simple - unless its 5 degrees outside and I have bundle everyone up in a million layers and push the stroller through 4 inches of snow because people don't shovel their sidewalk.  Cody naps from noon to 3 and Levi naps from 12:30-3. Simple. Lately Levi will only stay in bed if I lay in the LoveSac next to him. Simple - unless I think about all the hundreds of things I could be getting done during nap time. But then I realize the thing I would most want to do is take a nap anyway. So I cozy in beside him and sleep until the big kids get home from school. Paige picks up Ashby from his class and they walk home together. Simple. We don't usually have after school activities. I try to teach piano at home, no dance classes, no sports. Simple. By the time I've looked through the kids' backpacks and started them on homework, its time to make dinner. We're usually eating by 5:30 (Sometimes we don't even wait for Brian to get home because the kids and I are ready for something new). Simple. Occasionally there are evening church activities, but usually we try to get some chores crossed off, watch a show or play a game, read scriptures, and take baths before bed. Pretty simple - not always easy, but simple enough. Bedtime comes (not soon enough) at 7 for Cody and 8:30 for the other kids. Then I sit and relax and look around at all the things that didn't get done that day and make plans to do them tomorrow, even if I know it probably won't happen.

That's it. That's my boring simple life.

You can decide if you feel sorry for me, or if you are jealous of me. I'm still deciding, too. 

Pasta Face

For a few weeks I could not get Cody to eat anything. He would just shake his head at anything I would try to feed him or lay on his high chair tray. He was very polite about it, and it was pretty cute, but really he wouldn't eat anything!

Luckily we figured out the problem...

Cody has decided to become independent! He won't eat anything unless he has his own spoon and his own plate. Crackers or cheerios have to be in a bowl. Even finger foods require a utensil.

Mealtimes are a much messier process, but at least he is eating again.

Ashby lost his first tooth!

Ashby had been lying in bed for probably 20 minutes tonight before I heard "Mom, Mom! I lost my tooth!"  So we celebrated for a little while and he carefully placed the baggie under his pillow. 

Ashby's first lost tooth, and he pulled it out himself!

Remembering Grammy

Dear Grammy,
Just writing this letter makes me want to cry because I really, really miss you. I'm so really wanting you to be here. Did you know I'm 8 years old now? I got baptized on Sept. 29, 2012. Now I'm in second grade. I signed up for after-school book club. I love to read books, just like you, Grammy! Cody can walk. Did you know that? I lost one of my two front teeth, and now its growing in. Do you think I'll be able to see you when I die? I cannot wait to see you. I love you very much.
Love,
Paige

Dear Grammy,
I wish I could see you. Did you know that I saw you on a movie on the computer? You looked really nice when I was a baby (and a little bit old). Did you know that now I am 5 years old? Did you know that I got a remote control helicopter for Christmas? Did you know that Mom fixed my Y-writer that I got for Christmas last year? I have a loose tooth - its my first one! I am having fun at school. I even signed up for karate today. I wish you were here and I bet you would be good at flying my helicopter (Mommy's not very good at it!). I bet you could teach her how to do it.
Love,
Ashby

Dear Grammy,
I want you to know how to spell my name L-V-E-I.  I wish I could hug you. And I want to show you my painting.
Love,
Levi

Windows of Heaven

I knew something must be wrong...

Pretty much every year since we've been married we have been blessed in extraordinary ways by generous people at Christmas time. I always felt unworthy and have cried many grateful tears for the service and sacrifice rendered to our little family. I've always had a strong impression that we were receiving these blessings because we were paying our tithing. My faith in the principle of tithing has intensified since the first blessed experience.

This year I kept waiting for something extraordinary to happen. Its not that I expected it, really, but I knew that those past experiences were a direct physical manifestation of the actions of our faith - so I hoped it might happen again. Christmas was fast approaching and we were scraping by as usual. No unexpected escrow refunds from the bank, no mysterious toys left in our car, no gift baskets. I knew something must be wrong.

A couple weeks before Christmas we went to tithing settlement and automatically declared ourselves full-tithe payers. Of course we were full-tithe payers. We always paid our tithing diligently. But as we were leaving the office and looking at the total amount, things just didn't add up.

A few days later I sat down and earnestly compared our tithing printout with our bank statements and check book. I couldn't believe it! Somehow we were missing FIVE payments. I double checked everything....Well, one check had ended up under Ashby's name. Phew. Another check had gone through the bank, but had been missed on our tithing statement. Phew. But there were still THREE missed payments. The missing dates lined up to around the time that we were in and out of town for Brian's dad's illness and funeral, plus all the life changes that come with that. So, okay, I guess that's why it was overlooked. But now we were in a real predicament!

Even though it would take about every penny we had in our savings and checking accounts, I knew that we needed to pay the full amount of tithing we owed right away. I felt very strongly that these missed payments were the reason this year was different from other years.

Wouldn't you know it. That same week that we emptied out our bank accounts we were able to be on the receiving end of anonymous generosity once again. I still can't believe the generosity!

It is truly amazing how the Lord watches over us. I know that He knows me and loves me. I know how the windows of Heaven are opened when we pay our tithing. The blessings come rolling in and there is not enough room to receive them. I strongly echo the phrase, "We cannot afford to NOT pay tithing."

Codyisms

Today I walked into the kitchen and found that Cody had made himself quite at home in an unexpected little nook...

The kids and I spent some time this afternoon teaching Cody what to do with a ball and a basket. He picked up on it immediately and it held his attention for a very long time. :)

Each time he made a basket we would cheer and clap.

One time he made a basket and clapped for himself! 

The room erupted in praise and delight from all of the kids and myself. This is only the second time ever that he has clapped - he is 16 months old, so this was a big deal. Well, maybe we shouldn't have made it such a big deal because he refuses clap again. 

Smile

I've always said how much I love Brian's smile. It fills his whole face.
But lately I've realized there's more to it than that. I've noticed just how long it takes for Brian's smile to leave his face. He's so genuine about his interactions and conversations with people that his smile will linger long after they've gone. I love that about him.

No missed calls

We arrived home from our New Year's festivities at 2:30 this morning. We transferred the kids from their sleeping positions in the car into their more comfortable beds. Then I went to the kitchen and picked up the phone to see if there were any missed calls. No missed calls. I surprised myself by instinctively wondering why Mom hadn't called to wish me a happy new year. That was a very lonely moment.