I'm surrounded all day long, yet I feel so lonely. There's a constant tugging, holding me back every day because I feel like something is missing. It takes me a while to figure out why I feel lonely and then I realize...I miss my mom. I miss having someone to call and brag about my children to. I miss her encouraging notes. I miss her advice. I miss her listening ear. I miss her hugs. It is strange to think that I have had two babies since she has been gone. I miss her the most after I have a baby. There are so many "firsts" that seem to go unnoticed because she's not here to ask about them. Her kids and grandkids were always her top priority and I never felt like I was interrupting anything when I called to chat. I miss feeling that important.
So when I wander around the house aimlessly I realize its because something's missing. Then I usually find myself in front of the pantry trying to fill the void. But that's a post for a different day.
6 comments:
Oh Tara, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't know what to do if my mom was gone. I feel for you. Call me anytime and I would LOVE to hear you brag about your kids!! Love ya!!
I completely understand. You put into words exactly what I am feeling. I appreciate seeing what's in my heart get verbalized, however I am a little sad to hear that you still feel that way. I was hoping that I felt this way about my mom only because she just passed and Max is my first. I don't want to think about feeling this way again. It is a constant reminder about how important my relationship with my mom was (is) in my life. Then, that just makes me want to be an even better mom than I am being because if Max even feels a little bit about me the way I feel about my mom, woah. I just wish I had my mom here to guide me. my friend, I'm having a lonely week too.
p.s. virtual hugs
I can imagine *exactly* what you mean. I've never gone through that loss personally, but you described it so well that I can see it very clearly.
I'm so sorry you're missing your mom.
I've missed her a lot lately, too, although I'm not suggesting my relationship with her was anything like yours. Please know you are loved, and that you are not alone.
Having those babies without her really is the hardest! But call me whenever you have something to report, or even nothing to report. I miss you Tar!
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