When everything is quiet, I should know better

Sometime after 4:00pm
The kids were all playing nicely in their bedrooms. I had originally tried to convince them to go out in the backyard and enjoy the nice fall weather, but I wasn't going to interrupt their bonding time. I thought about washing dishes and spent some time staring into the pantry to figure out what to make for dinner.

Around 4:30pm
I was thinking things were awfully quiet and wondered what kind of trouble the kids were getting in to, but decided to just enjoy the peace instead.

About 4:40pm
Ashby came into the kitchen looking for something and I asked him what they were up to. He said he was reading in his room. I asked what Cody was doing. He said he didn't know because Cody wasn't with him. Hmmmm...I looked in the bedrooms...no Cody and no Levi.
The backdoor was still locked, so nobody was playing out there. The front door was unlocked, and I knew I had locked it.
I ran outside and looked up and down the sidewalks. Nothing. I ran around the back of the house and looked in the shared grassy area. Nothing.
I ran back inside and told Ashby and Paige to get their shoes, jackets, and scooters quickly because we had to form a search party to find Cody and Levi. I jumped on my bike (since I don't have a car) and we split up. Paige and Ashby were sent to knock on neighbors' doors that Levi may have ventured to, and I went riding around the neighborhood.

Around 4:50pm
I wished that I had thought to pull the big kids aside and take a moment to pray together before we frantically left the house. I tried to say a silent prayer while I sped around the block behind my house.
I wanted to call out their names, "Levi! Cody!" but every time I tried, I just started crying. I didn't know how long they had been missing already. It'd been at least a half hour since the house was quiet. I wasn't really worried about them being kidnapped, but Cody is only 2 and Levi is only 4 and walking for that long could get them very lost. But I also was pretty sure they wouldn't have crossed any big roads, so I focused my search just around the square block.
I saw a mom (Emily) I know only a little at the small playground. She waved and I pulled up closer, trying (unsuccessfully) not to cry. She asked if everything was okay and I said I couldn't find my boys. She grabbed her kids and said they would go look at the big park and I continued my loop around the block.

Sometime after 5:00pm 
Arriving back at home I saw my friend (Amy) walking down our driveway and I hoped for the best. But she didn't have them. Panic! She got in her car to broaden the search and I continued on my bike.
I was sweating and crying and my quads were burning (I didn't know I could ride my bike so fast - but it turns out its much easier when you're not hauling any kids).
I made another loop around the block focusing on areas behind homes and the back way to the park. Ran into Emily again, but she hadn't found them. I stopped by another friend's home (Jennifer) and asked. She gave me a cell phone so I could call if I found them and they got on their jackets to join the search.
I stopped by my house again and saw Ashby on the corner. He said that Amy found them and were in her car somewhere. Really?! I hustled back to Jennifer's to return the phone and tell her the news. I still hadn't seen my boys yet, but I felt fairly confident Ashby knew what he was talking about.
I went back home and Ashby said, "Bad news." My heart sank. "She has Cody and Levi but now they're trying to find you." Oh! That's okay! So I sat on the curb waiting for their return.

5:15ish
Amy's black minivan pulls up with my two little boys inside! No jackets, no shoes, just a sippy cup and a ball.
I don't really know the timeline of their adventures or where all they went, but they were found headed toward the school. 
Later I heard a phone message from a mom on another street informing me that Cody and Levi were outside her house saying they were lost. (One more reason I need a cell phone!) And another mom seeing if she should call the police.

I'm so grateful for all the people that were totally willing to drop whatever they were doing and help out a frantic mom. I'm grateful for Ashby who said his own prayer for help. I'm grateful for Paige who got everyone worried for me. I'm grateful that Cody and Levi were protected and watched over by their much more attentive parent, their Heavenly Father.

And now, I'm going to start using our front door security latch.

Dinner at my house

I thought it was a pretty good dinner...

Cafe Rio shredded chicken
Rice
Corn torillas
Salad
Watermelon
and Frog-eye Salad

...and its not even Sunday!

Guess what Ashby ate?
        Marshmallows picked out of the frog-eye salad. That's it.

Then when I got after him about eating real food, he yelled about how he wishes he never had a mom.

Such is life with Ashby. Such is dinner at my house.

Mother's Day 2013

I've really got some great kids!

I had a very nice Mother's day. Brian tried something new for breakfast and I must admit I think it is my new favorite thing - Banana bread french toast with buttermilk syrup! Yum! French toast has always been my favorite, but made out of banana bread is pretty much fantastic. 

The kids showered me with hugs and presents and cards and it was wonderful. 

Sometimes I use Mother's Day as an excuse to not be a mother for the day. But this year I noticed that I really don't mind. I didn't mind helping in the kitchen, or changing a dirty diaper or stopping an argument. So, that was a nice realization.

I bought myself a new outfit for Mother's Day - complete with shoes. I haven't bought myself any clothes for a long time (like probably a couple of years), so it was kind of a big deal. I thought it was really cute, but it was out of my comfort zone a little with a belt and tucked in shirt - but I decided to just go for it. 

This is the best pic I have of it, so use your imagination. I got a lot of compliments at church, so that's a good sign. And a lot of people were looking at me because I completely forgot that I was supposed to say the opening prayer. I sat in my seat after the hymn looking at something or helping the kids or something. Then the guy behind me taps me on the shoulder and says, "You're supposed to say the prayer." I started to stand up with hands over my surprised face, just as the bishopric counselor stood up to pray in my place. He saw me. I sat back down. He motioned for me to go ahead and come up. I scrambled over the kids at my feet and walked up red-faced to the pulpit. Ugh!

Ashby really wanted to give me snapdragons for mother's day to put in planters on our front porch. I also received some flowers at church to plant. I was excited to make the porch look pretty and planted the flowers on Monday. I used fresh dirt, and miracle grow and even had Levi help me. I was pretty proud of myself for not procrastinating. But on Tuesday everything was already dead! I am so disappointed and confused about what I could have done wrong. :(

attention getter

We've had some sickness making the rounds at our house lately.
Here's a conversation with Paige about it.

Paige: "I like being sick because then I get all the attention."
Me: "You don't think you get enough attention?"
Paige: "Not really. Its because of the boys. Mom, sometime you should be sick so then you'd get all the attention."
Me, laughing: "Well it doesn't really work like that. Because even when I'm sick I still have to take care of everyone else."
Paige: "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

Great Expectations

What is it about Mother's Day that gives me the expectation that I shouldn't have to do anything about being a mom?

Let me sleep in.

Skip the 4am feeding.

Bring me breakfast in bed.

Hand over the diaper changing.

Hand over the crying baby.

Hand over the discipline.

Let me wear headphones all day so I can't hear any whining or fighting.

Let me nap all afternoon.

Make me dinner in a freshly mopped kitchen.

Wash the dishes and wipe the counters.

Rub my feet and shoulders as if I've had the worst day ever... 

Just give me the beautiful, happy, obedient children that will sit on my lap and give me a big hug. Have them sit by me, smiling while I read them stories and kiss me on the cheek when I'm done. Give me the kids that will cuddle up while I stroke their hair and scratch their backs. Then I'll send them off to bed and be done for the day.

Wonderful illusions.

I guess what I'm really hoping for from Mother's Day is just one day where I won't have to get after anyone...or (maybe) a day that is secretly miserable for everyone else just so they can appreciate me more openly.  ;)

'tis the Season

'Tis the season for babysitters.

We have had/will have need for a babysitter 6 times this months. Too many parties or special events are scheduled in which children are asked to stay home.

While it is always nice to have a little break (especially if it means I don't have to cook dinner!), December is absolutely the worst time to try to pay a babysitter - it would add up to over $100!
I am grateful for good friends and neighbors that have helped soften that blow by trading babysitting and favors. Its nice to know I can count on people to take good care of my children while I am away.

Smokey Eyes

Paige keeps talking about "smokey eyes". After Halloween when she had bathed and washed all her face paint off she still had a little bit of black around her eyelids. She woke up the next morning thrilled saying, "Oooo. I have smokey eyes." She loved it! It lasted a day or two. She reminded me of a time months ago when we had watched What Not to Wear and the make-up make-over lady gave the woman "smokey eyes". "Its just like that show we watched!" she says. Now, whenever I actually have time to put eyeliner on (maybe twice a week) Paige will point out my "smokey eyes". She sure is a funny one.

Note to Self

Dear Tara
Next time you have a baby, please remember how great you felt two weeks after giving birth when you weighed yourself and found that you had lost enough weight to fit in your [skinny-for-you] jeans. Please let that be a jump start for your weight loss goals and don't use "I just had a baby" or "I'm nursing" as your excuse to eat anything and everything you can get your hands on - thus gaining all that weight back and making you start over the hard way. Please remember.

Simple Pleasure

A simple pleasure about being a mom: catching a poopy diaper before it gets sat in!

One of those yucky days

I'm sure many of you have had a similar experience.

My little Levi was having a rough day. Crying inconsolably and I wish I knew why. Maybe it was a new tooth? Naps were my only savior that day.

I had to present some thoughts at a stake auxiliary training meeting that night. I found the one outfit I actually feel confident in, did my hair and make-up and felt ready to go. Levi fussed and I picked him up. He puked all over me and him. I stood there in shock, feeling sorry for myself and wondering what I was going to wear now. He puked again and then I just felt disgusted - Brian is usually the one that deals with throw-up.

I gave strict orders to the big kids not to walk into the kitchen while I undressed myself and Levi and threw him in the bathtub. I quickly wiped up the floor and threw the clothes in the washer. I came back to the tub and found Levi poking around at some weird floaties. Throw-up? No....poop. Clean the tub, clean Levi, but don't have time to clean me. Just put on some less-cute clothes and go.

It was just one of those days.

Rumor is I don't know

How is it that I'm supposed to know all the answers?

Many times a day my kids will come up and ask me something. My usual response is, "I don't know."

But its not like they are asking me what the square root of pi is, or about the Egyptian mummies - they merely want to know if they can have another snack, or play on the computer.

These are questions I should probably be able to answer, yet I just don't know.

How much is too much? When is avoiding a fight reasonable justification? What are my other options?

These are things experienced moms know.

Which is why I often end up replying, "I don't care", and my daughter jumps around the house exclaiming, "Mommy doesn't care! Mommy doesn't care!"

Rumor is I'm a big spender

I wish I could spend money and not even think about it.

I never used to think about it when it was my parent's money - I mean, why shouldn't I get the $100 shoes? or the $60 jeans?

I remember a few years ago Brian and I wound up with a large amount of money and I used some of it for a shopping trip to Ikea - things that had only ever been on our wish list. It was very exciting. I only got a few items, but it added up to over $300. I couldn't believe I was actually going to spend that much money. I walked up to the cashier and the floor began to spin and I literally felt ill.

I am always worried about spending money. I love to browse the store ads each week and mark the things I would like to buy. Then the ads go in the trash because I know I'm fooling myself.

I never buy clothes for my kids. I feel very fortunate to have older siblings willing to pass along bins and bins full of out-grown clothes that my kids can use. I can probably count on two hands how many outfits I have actually paid for myself.

The other day I went through all the hand-me-downs in Paige's dresser to see what kinds of stuff I needed to get before she started school. It seemed like she had pretty much everything she needed, but I wanted to give her the fun of just one special outfit she could wear on the first day of school. Like she even cares - its probably more for me. I loved the first day of school and laying out my outfit carefully the night before, complete with socks in shoes. Love, love that feeling.

So I headed out to find a cute outfit. My plan was Ross - because I feel like I can get a good deal there. They didn't have much to choose from and I was pretty disappointed. So I went next door to Old Navy. I have not shopped there for years. And this was absolutely the first time I have been in the Girls department (I think I've been to the toddler section at some point). They had lots of cute things and I wanted all of it. Why does everything have to be so darn expensive? I was pretty disappointed. But Paige tried on a few things and we came away with some very cute pants and a top and some leggings - $50. I tried not to think about it. Afterall, this is my first-born, and her first day of school, and she deserves it. I feel guilty all the way home.

I won't buy myself anything unless it is under $10 -- 6 is more like it. And I just paid $20 for a pair of pants that she probably won't even fit into next year...but they were really cute pants.

Well, today I did a little more shopping - Burlington, Kid2Kid, and Shopko. I am pleased with the results, and feel much better about the use of my money. Old Navy will have to wait for my business another year. I think Paige will look very cute for school ... now if she would only allow me to do her hair ...

Rumor is I'll stick with Swiffer

Today was deep clean day.

I am starting classes at UVU this week and I know I will have very little time to get things done around the house now. I can usually keep the house tidy and picked up, but I would never call it clean. So I took some time today to actually do something about all the things that I notice needing to be done. One of those things was to mop the floor.

I have never been very good at mopping, or about mopping. Growing up my mom had carpet everywhere in the house, so we just vacuumed everything. My husband had to teach me how to mop, but I don't get it. How does mopping get anything clean? Sure the big spots disappear, but mostly all the dirt just gets spread around. It doesn't make sense to me. To help me with my aversion to mopping I have been using the Swiffer mop with the wet cleaning pads. I knew it was the only way I would actually be getting my floors clean, because Brian is the only one that pulls out the big mop and bucket. I've always felt like I was cheating, but at least the Swiffer is something.

This time, however, I got on my hands and knees with special cleaner and a big wet towel - guess I was feeling ambitious today. I scrubbed and scrubbed, but all I have to show for it is red knees. My floor still looks as dirty as it does when I use the Swiffer (maybe its just the color of the tile). Therefore, I will be sticking with my Swiffer method - who cares if its cheating. At least its easy.

we live here

Whenever someone comes over, the first thing I want to say is, "Sorry for the mess". But I usually stop myself. Brian has told me to never say that. He says a messy house means we actually live there. That's a good attitude and I'm glad that's how he feels, but it is hard for me to not apologize. So, if you come to my house, know that I wish it were cleaner, but Hey, we live here.

11-5

11am - 5pm. 6 consecutive hours. This is nap time at our house. That's a big chunk of time for me to give up. If I want to run any errands or do anything I have to do it first thing in the morning, or later at night. Its okay though, I'd rather not do things with kids anyway.

Levi naps from 11-1, then Ashby naps from about 1-4, and Levi naps again from 3-5.

I am looking forward to the day when Levi is happy taking just one nap - and everyone's naps overlap - and then I can take a nap too.

So, if its the middle of the day and you are looking for me. Come on over - chances are I am home.

The rumor is chores are boring

"But Mom, chores are boring". This is can often be heard from a whining little girl named Paige. I can't really disagree.

Paige can also be heard saying, "If you don't let me do the things I want to do, then I won't do the things you want me to do." Of course that one is pretty easy to turn around on her.

One of things that Paige has decided is not boring is playing on the computer. Now a lot of their time is spent on this website. My Job Chart.

Its been a good resource at our house. They have complete control over marking their job completion and Ashby has even learned how to type his name without any help. They are nearing completion of 1000 points, in which we promised to reward them with a Toy Story 3 outing.

If any of you have been looking for some kind of customizable job chart, I recommend taking a look at this one.

Baking

Although I enjoy watching my kids savor the childhood moment of slowly and meticulously licking batter off of the beaters and spoons, I prefer doing my baking when the kids are asleep. That way I don't have to share the beaters, or the licking of the bowl - it really is the best part of baking anyway.

The rumor is that I'm pregnant

Got your attention? Well, its false. Even though I'm four weeks late, I only have negative pregnancy tests to show for it. I went to the doctor today and made sure. He says my body is just confused. Kind of a relief. At least now I can still go to Girl's Camp.

1:53:75

Almost two hours. Some people run a marathon in this time, not me. This is how long I have to listen to crying, whining, or complaining at my house on an average day - I know because I timed it. Something I've learned with having three kids is that it is very rare that all three are happy at the same time. I no longer worry too much about somebody waking up a sleeping kid, because I know there is not really anything I can do about it. Three kids can be very stressful, but this realization has really helped me try to not be so stressed out. But one thing I have noticed is that I am drawn to the pantry or fridge every time someone starts crying. And now you know why there is a mostly eaten tub of cookie dough in my freezer.

the Next Stage

Paige is registering for Kindergarten today. I am so excited to enter this next stage of motherhood and have a kid in school. I just really, really hope my children love school as much as I did. I'm so excited to help Paige with her homework, and watch how she learns new things. I also wonder what kinds of things she will learn from the other kids at school...so many different experiences to come.